WHEN DEALING WITH THE AFTER EFFECTS OF SEXUAL ABUSE

Sexual abuse is defined as a criminal activity, especially that involving a victim below the age of sexual content or incapable of giving sexual consent (Houghton Mifflin, 2011). In theory sexual abuse is a simple and straight forward thing, if somebody passes unwelcomed sexual advances on you then you have the right to lay criminal charges against that specific person, but nothing will guarantee the positive outcome on the charges nor promise that the perpetrator will actually get exactly what they deserve.

The reality of the situation is too many sexual victims suffer in silence, especially young kids. It is under these unfortunate circumstances that innocent children have to suffer from sexual predation, today’s society is so sick and mindless that people especially men inflict a lifetime of emotional scars on minors for just a few minutes’ worth of sexual pleasure. Sometimes I ask myself why? Why are sexual offences still occurring even with the country’s law so strongly against them? Even with the many laws enforced by the constitution, there is simply no decline to the sharply rising statistics on “reported” sexual offences. The stats show that 1 in every 4 women is raped in South Africa; provided the stats show only reported offences against “women” they do not show unreported offences nor do they represent offenses against young boys and men. The stats don’t even show what is known to be the grey area which is the sexual harassment charges or forced oral sex. So if the stats are already unrealistic then how can we come up with realistic solutions to these gruesome offences?

Somewhere in South Africa somebody is in fact faced with sexual abuse, be it an innocent infant being sexually molested, or a toddler being raped and threatened with death or being bribed with sweets, a young woman abused for walking alone, a young boy being sexually abused to teach them how to be men and many more without knowing where to turn to. What if the parents or someone who is close to the victim actually believes that the victim deserves to be in that situation? How does having a law in a constitution help when the victims if society believes the perpetrator over the victim? What happens if the victim is a minor who according to the constitution cannot stand for himself/herself and the guardians or parents simply don’t want to get involved in a rape case what then? The answer is simple the perpetrator will simply walk free to rape again, and the victim will suffer in silence from that gruesome offences, he/ she will suffer a lifetime of emotional scars and this will probably cause a lot of resentment towards those people who were ignorant in the situation. If not, then the victim might even think that rape is okay and he/ she may even end up being a sexual predator themselves or a pretty disturbed individual in society. Others may think that in this above mentioned situation the victim must get some counselling to” get over” it and move on but forgetting that counselling might somewhat help the victim speak more openly about that violent grievances but no amount of counselling will ever erase. The only proven solution is to take preventative measures to avoid finding yourself in such situations by being aware of yourself and what is happening around you. Teach your children to be more aware about their bodies and to teach them to say no and to also report suspicious behaviour. In the next article I will elaborate further on necessary steps to take if you find yourself in similar situations or want to help those who are in the situation. Please feel free to comment on the matter below, let us stop turning a blind eye on sexual abuse and let’s blow a whistle on these monsters.

Ms M.J Mosieleng

Why single women should be the happiest girls

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These days being single is like the new black, especially in the black community. Most single girls opt to have casual relationships because they dont want the man involved to have a feeling of being tied down, or even they themselves be tired down.

The reality of the situation is that most women are bullied by society to be in a stable relationship, it is somewhat unatural or unacceptable to be single and succesful as a woman. In most cases women who are married , engaged or in a committed relationship despise single women because of two reasons, firstly they have a fear of having their men taken away from them, and secondly they envy them because single women still have their own independence and they live their lives according to their own personal standards. Sometimes single women choose to be single because of being tired of spousal betrayal and constant cheating , while others on the other hand feel that they are not ready to settle down and have kids while they themselves aren’t well that well established.

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Every single girl out there in the world should embrace her single-girl status and use that time to do what makes her happy. Should go get that education she desires, be adventurous and travel if not the world then atleast the country. Go after the job you want , make your own money and buy yourself that house, car , clothes, and that expensive jewelery honey and more.

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Do not let yourselves drown in the sea of loneliness sorrow and forget about how much fun you could be having without having to come home before the sun to cook for someone while making sure that the house is clean and before you can take a moment to breath your kids are back from school and you have to tend to their needs and help them with homework while trying to balance your own books and getting an education. Most importantly do not let your fear of being a single-girl keep you from leaving a toxic relationship and doing what is best for you because if you dont you are going to be filled with resentment towards yourself and others.

Top 4 young and successful women making their mark in and around eastrand

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1.Vuyelwa Ndlovu

This beauty hails from the small township named Kwa-thema in Ekurhuleni, and although she is in her mid 20’s she still proves that she is a force to be reckoned with. Vuvu as her fans know her is a self-proclaimed chartered accountant in the making, reigning miss Tsakane mall 2009, crowned the face of Ekurhuleni 2010, and not forgetting that she holds a B.Com Accounting degree obtained from the University of Johannesburg.

The dark beauty is a role model to many young women in South Africa especially those from her hometown , her accomplishments have made her a small-town celebrity in her own right and she is slowly making positives career moves. She is a woman who wears many hats and has also shown interest in  changing the administration of her country by becoming an active member of the ANCYL with the hopes of being in paliament in the near future, you go girl big ups to you

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2. Diamante Madonsela

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This beautiful woman is very humbled by her on-going success, she was born and raised in Tsakane and throughout her life she fought to not become a product of her disadvantaged back-round. She started her schooling at Welgardagt primary school and later on continued her studies at Brakpan high but because of difficult circumstances she had to drop out of high school to further her studies part time while working at Mews pub to support herself. After high school she went on to further her studies by enrolling for for a Financial Accounting diploma. although this beauty is still young and in her early 20’s she took it upon herself to start her own construction company and slowly but surely climbing the corporate ladder of  movers and shakers of Ekurhuleni

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This girl is on top of her game and she proves that age is nothing but a number, it doesn’t matter if people think that you are not good enough if your mind conceives it , you can achieve it. Diamante is part time model who walked prestigious runways around jhb for various brands and well known designers and also featured in one of the musical group Teargas video.

3. Rethabile Lerothodi

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 This vibrant young woman who was born in Katlehong, Ekurhuleni and is in her early 20’s is fresh out of high school and has recently enrolled for a Psychology degree at the Midrand Graduate Institute. She is currently working  for the SAA as an airhostess and still mananges to keep a cool head despite all of her recent sucesses.

This lady is not shopwing signs of slowing down because despite all of the things she is currently busy with you can add glamour model to her resume. She is also a part time model , which goes to show that the modern woman should not necesarily be bare foot and pregnant in the kitchen, she can handle it all and moreIMG_20150326_0022329

4.Nthabeleng Dikotsi

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This unstoppable woman has more than proven to most people that she takes the bulls by the horns, this beauty also from Ekurhulen holds a postgratuate certificate in Accounting from the University of Johannesburg, a certificate of entrepreneurship cetificate from Wits and has recently finished her Maters degree in Entrepreneuship.

She is currently the chairperson for Young Women in Business Network(YWBN ) and has steered the organisation to success, this phenomenal woman has also received international recognition and was honoured with the 2013/2014 women Leadership award at the third Africa summit in Mauritious. In her mid 30’s this woman is not ready to hang her crown as a business princess of SA anytime soon.

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p.s girl power

 

hello my fellow penfans

hello again to my fellow tea/juice surfers this my very first post, and i am so excited to have given birth to my very first blog and i have officially gained the tittle “blogger” slash unofficial author as i would like to call it. i promise to never forsake you guys and i will be keeping it real and serving some very hot tea on a regular, i promise

xoxo

the gossipenbling pen 1